Shorts

Some short boops about stuff that happened while I wasn't blogging. I'll be back to the original format soon.

The time the rain came. Six months of dry skies, we're sitting at Lam Cafe, sharing a chocolate banana pancake and drinking a couple rhum lemons. We stare out into the street as we see drops of rain coming down. The drops turn into a downpour in no time, signaling the beginning of Vietnam's rainy season. An American expat cheers the rain but then gives everyone the news: its going to flood, and there will be cockroaches. Then rats. True to his word, the water level was six inches high in mere moments and cockroaches started making there way into the cafe, the staff swinging their brooms at the archway and pouring boiled water onto them. One rat makes a dash inside, hiding behind the drink fridge. The whole time the American's hooting and hollering to his friends, drunk less so on booze than he was on Saigon.

Getting Daphne's bike fixed. Daphne's telling the mechanic his sudden price hikes are unreasonable. She points at her scar and at the bike damage and says, 'same accident! you said less!' As she repeats the word 'accident' for the third time, a woman instantly crashes her bike right in front of the bike shop. We decide to go to another mechanic.

Educating. After doing a reading about a blind marriage that led to divorce. One of my fifteen year old students says that divorce is very bad for the woman. Why? Because then she's no longer a virgin. I tell my student that in the West, chances are slim that she was a virgin when she got married in the first place. I observe his fifteen year old brain exploding behind his eyes.

Trip to Vung Tau. Vietnamese Freedom Day we take the hydrofoil to Vung Tau, the closest beach to HCMC. So did the rest of Saigon. After going to what was supposed to be a cleaner and quieter beach nearby, Long Hai, we found it to be just as crowded as Vung Tau and the ocean fortified with floating trash from one end of the beach to the other. In Vung Tau we try to get a place to stay but everywhere appears to be booked[which is what we should have done before going]. One place that is available and nice is $60 for the night. Thinking it too steep, we decide to go inland to the guesthouses, only to find that some of them cost even more. We head back to the $60 place, but the room is no longer free. I decide that if we're going to spend that much money then we should get more value instead of overpaying for four walls and a bed. We settled in the very cozy Royal Hotel for $100, enjoying a comfortable bed, good breakfast and spending all of the next day by the pool. For us, there's always a silver lining beyond the ring of floating trash.

Educating II. One of my students shows me a neat trick with the VN Dong bill. You can fold it so that it looks like Uncle Ho is smiling or scowling depending on how you hold it.

Books. There aren't enough of them in English. Just photocopied stuff for backpacking hipsters. Alchemist, Life of Pi, Bill Bryson, etc. When I come back from the States I'll be lugging back a suitcase of just books.

Waterpark. We spent the day at the waterpark with some of my coworkers from school. Favourite ride was one that looked like a toilet bowl. Its the first place I've seen where the Vietnamese obey the queue, which they don't even do at the airport. Also, its the most shaded water park I've ever seen. Fun times were had.

Educating III. My students don't know what Communism is. 'You are,' I tell them. Though the more I live here the more I realize that Vietnam is actually the most Capitalist country I've ever been to.

Vietnamese and sunlight. Many Asians prefer being pale, but the relationship between the Vietnamese and the sun borders on phobia. Although its 37 C outside, they're still running around fully covered in jeans, sweaters, stockings, gloves, masks and conical hats. I see some covering their heads with a jacket as they run through the street, as if they were avoiding getting their hair wet from the rain and not blocking the sun. But what really takes the cake is their behaviour at the traffic light. Instead of waiting behind the white line they instead will line up as much as 50 metres further back where there is shade. On one such occasion, I had seen a man stop at the white line just as the light turned red, he then proceeded to inch his way back on his motorbike slowly towards the shade some 15 metres back. Just as he makes it away from the sun, that's when the light turns green. I laughed out loud as I sped away.

Education IV. Category game. Name a genius. Student:"Hitler?" Me: Jaw on the linoleum floor. My students explain that they learned in history that Hitler and Napolean were brilliant leaders[Daphne also had a student once who said he admired Hitler]. I checked with my students to see if they were aware of the bad things he did, which, thankfully, they were, but they were still convinced that he was a great leader and it seems that his skills in leadership have made him a suitable role model here in Vietnam. Instead of arguing against his political abilities I chose to put things in perspective for them. "A good leader doesn't conquer for greed, he leads those that want to be led. Vietnam has been invaded many times by people who did not have Vietnamese interests at heart, Chinese, Japanese, French, Americans, and they were all beaten away because they weren't wanted here and only came for themselves. That's why Hitler was defeated. That's why Napolean was defeated. If they were truly geniuses, they wouldn't have lost because they would have never put their noses where they weren't wanted." This finally got nods from my students, who at first could only reply to my questions by saying, "that's what they told us in school." Days like this make me happy to be a teacher. Days like this also worry me though.

I call Daphne for lunch. She was supposed to meet me in front of the school to show her bike to an interested buyer. On the phone she says,"I'm around the corner at the wonton noodle place." "Why aren't you here?" "I don't have my bike with me. I got stopped by the police." This is bad news because Daphne, like myself, doesn't have a license. Meaning that her bike can be taken away for one month and to get it back she has to get a license and pay a 500,000VND fine[27USD]. So I meet her at the wonton place and ask for the full story: She did an illegal turn and got pulled over, the cop grilled her, and then let her go with a warning and nothing more. Yes, Daphne had punked me. Although, she did not tell a lie on the phone, she told it as it was, her bike wasn't there[it was still at work] and she had indeed been pulled over, the two just weren't related. She stopped laughing, however, when I told her that I already told the prospective buyer that there was no more bike for him to see.