Vacation Time!

The highlight of work like mine and Daphne's is the opportunity to leave the city fairly regularly. Living in HCM, regular trips away help maintain sanity in such a crazy place. Those that read my last blog entry will understand when I say that this trip couldn't have come too soon.

Friday - Arrival
Yvonne had once again opened her home to us in Villa Marina for our stay. There's no favour one can do you like a bed when you're in a place like Singapore, where prices are $100 a night even in the backpackers area. The theme for our trip was food. Daphne missed Singaporean food so much and listed all the foods she was dying to eat when we got there. Unfortunately, it would take a lot more than the six days we were in town to cover her dream menu. The Friday we arrived, the first thing we did after lunch was banking. I followed Daphne to four different banks where she cleared up one issue after another. This is part of a regular ritual for her every time she comes back to Singapore. One thing she had to do was opt-out of a new program her credit card was in that sent a code to your phone that you needed when making online transactions. That's great, except she doesn't live in Singapore and now couldn't do things like buy plane tickets while in Vietnam. "You mean you don't have a global phone number?" The bank clerks had difficulty wrapping their head around that one. What kind of Singaporean wouldn't have a global phone, right?
We had dinner with Daphne's parents and youngest sister, Georgina, who I was meeting for the first time. Unfortunately, I didn't get to meet Daphne's other sister, Michelle, on this trip as she and her baby son were contagious with Hand, mouth & foot disease. Dinner was good but there was so much! We ate at a local hawkers' centre/market and Daphne's mom kept getting up to get more and more food for us. When it comes to family feasts, Chinese can be just as bad as Russians.
After dinner, Daphne and I said goodbye to the folks and went downtown to meet some of Daphne's long time friends at #5 Emerald Hill, which is in an area of preserved colonial houses turned restaurants. The place was famous for its chicken wings but we were too stuffed to pursue so we stuck to the drinks. "Buy one get one martinis, only $16!" In Singapore, the food is quite cheap, but the drinking is very very expensive.

Saturday - A Wedding
The next day we went to the Singapore National Museum to see the Pompeii exhibit and brush up on some Singapore history. From there we went to a Buddhist temple where Daphne showed me how to get my fortune read. It was like a game, you get a wooden jar with a bunch of sticks, you ask a question in your head and shake the jar until one and only one stick comes out with some characters on it. You then roll two stones with one rounded side and one flat, if they come out the same you have to shake the jar again for a new stick, if they come up different then you take your stick to a counter and get your paper fortune. Daphne and I were both happy with our results.


That evening, we were running late for a wedding. Daphne's friend, Annie had just married and run off with a Spanish Swiss, Roberto, to Switzerland. This was actually the dinner, as the wedding tea ceremony was just for family. We arrived at the restaurant just in time to pass the bride and groom who were getting ready to march. As we get to the dining area everyone is standing and looking in our direction. Thinking that we were the bride and groom, the audience barely stops itself from applauding. One person in the back doesn't quite stop fast enough and releases a lone clap. Light laughter follows, cheeks flush.
After a really good four course meal at Da Paolo featuring the best Tiramisu I have ever had, we went with the newly married couple and friends down to the bay front, One Fullerton, and a club called The Butter Factory. The club has a $28 cover, which we avoided by buying four bottles of spirits, and consisted of two rooms, one hiphop, one electro, some very good DJing, good decoration, great sound system and a panoramic view of the coast with the Merlion and The Marina Sands in sight. As expensive as this place was, it didn't stop some patrons from buying one meter tall bottles of Belvedere Vodka. Our initial plan of staying until 2am already didn't offer us much chance for sleep. The fact that we didn't get home until 4am didn't help matters.

[Us With The Happy Couple]

Sunday - A Birthday
The next morning we had to be up to go to an 8am three hour yoga workshop with Yvonne. When I woke up, I kidded myself into believing that I was only tired and could make it. Halfway there in the taxi I had my hand over my mouth and was tapping the taxi driver's shoulder. The taxi driver was very nice to me and gave me his water, his way of showing gratitude that I made it out without messing on his cab. I spent the entirety of the yoga workshop sleeping on a couch outside the room. Daphne and Yvonne said it was a good class, I'll have to take their word.
We headed to a boat dock next where Yvonne had rented an 80 ft. long three story boat house for a delayed birthday party. The boat was beautiful and aside from a brief shower the weather was good. Yvonne's helper, Samita, cooked an amazing Sri Lankan feast. Fresh air, (fairly) clean water, good food, good day. We after partied at Daphne's friend Ruqxana, whose 1970's Beatle is probably the oldest running car in Singapore. Unfortunately, Ruk's nine cats, who although were very sweet and tame, gave Daphne a massive allergy attack leading us back to Yvonne's in search of antihistamines.

[We Had A Wii, But Nobody Touched It Because We Had A Boat, Too]

[People Are Going To Live There Someday]

Monday - Walking
Monday we spent all day on our feet. We met Andria and her baby [commercially viable cuteness] for lunch and then went to a couple Buddhist temples with Daphne's parents and 4 yr. old niece, Zenna. Zenna didn't remember me and was shy at first, but she warmed up and I even practiced my Chinese with her. We went to Chinatown where I bought a bunch of tea and met up with Daphne's friend, Zi, at a tea house. While shopping for tea, the clerks at one of the stalls were staring at a counterfeit $100 bill a customer had just used on them. It was a very good fake, even had the ghost Franklin, but it didn't hold up to scrutiny next to a real one. Unfortunately, my lecture in identifying real from fakes did not award me with a discount for my services. Anyhow, after we had tea we went on a quest for fried radish cake. We had been trying to get it all week but every stall we had gone to was out. This time, we went to three different hawkers' centers around the island before finding a stall that was serving.

[Apple Juice]

Tuesday - Climbing
On our last day we went to Little India's Mustafah market, a massive crowded places that sold everything. I bought some Darjeeling tea and Daphne got some yoga gear. In total, I had bought 1.5 kg of tea on this trip. Am I a nerd or what? At night I went climbing with Yvonne and her kids, Rohan, 7, and Uma, 9, while Daphne hung out with her friend Jeanne. These kids are every mother's dream. Very smart, outgoing, bilingual and well mannered. They took to climbing instantly and when we were on the boat, Rohan was the first person to do a dive from the top of the boat into the water. These kids aren't video game deprived either[they each have their own DS and a Wii] but they enjoy doing other things as well. Yvonne should write a book.

[Rohan Showing Us How It's Done]

The trip was a much needed change of pace and literally a breath of fresh air. Daphne even said that it was the best time she had in Singapore in a long time and wished we could have stayed longer, but its back to grind and honk of Saigon for us.

Paradise Lost and Found

The month of June marked my one year anniversary in Vietnam. Daphne's absence had left a void in my life, my schedule and my heart. Writing about personal stuff is a challenge for me and doing so in a public forum is all but impossible. So I'll be quite brief with it.

As I had mentioned at the end of the last blog, Daphne and I parted not for a lack of love but for other reasons. I won't go into what those reasons are, but let's just say that those 'other reasons' worked themselves out and exactly one month after I said goodbye to her at the airport she was back there with twice the load of luggage than when she left. I could probably write a book about everything that happened in between, but I'm afraid that all I can manage for the sake of a blog are two vague paragraphs. I hope the reader will understand and accept my censorship and read on.

Naturally, we had to give ourselves a short holiday, so we went to Phu Quoc again[this time by plane, not motorbike] to spend the week on the quiet beach, away from the world outside. We also chose it because during the time we were there, our good friend Sylven was getting married on the mainland just a short ferry ride away.

It's difficult to write about a beach holiday, anyone who's been on one will know. With all the lounging, sunning, swimming and eating it doesn't fit itself into a narrative structure very well. Because we were at the beginning of the rainy season, the weather wasn't as good as our first visit. Rainy, cloudy but also cooler in the nights and a bit less bitey in the evenings. It was the off season, so our room was only $10 and at first we were the only people at the hotel. Off season, however meant that the beaches weren't cleaned as regularly as they usually are, so what was a clean beautiful beach on our first visit was now littered. I'm told that if you were to get stranded on an uninhabited island, the beaches would be filthy there, too. Its all one ocean, after all. Worse than the general litter however, was the tar. Gooey black globs of tar lined the beach and the only way to clean it from the bottoms of our feet was to use the turpentine bottle we kept next to our bungalow. Why was there tar on the beach anyways?

Still we found ourselves having a good time despite these issues. We spent our time in hammocks, in the sea and reading a lot. I finnished Gulliver's Travels and Murakami's Norwegian Wood[on loan from a friend]. At nights we ate good seafood and played pool at Le Bistro while drink rhum lemons.

[Stop, Hammock Time]

We rented a bike and went cruising through the island, trying to find more things to do. At one point, we got into an accident when somebody who wasn't paying attention hit us from the rear. We felt a small bump behind us and then heard a crash. I stopped and looked behind to see a man falling off his bike, and some glass thing that he was carrying shattering on the ground into thousands of shards. In Vietnam, it's actually legal to drive away from an accident, so long as you go report it to a police station later[not likely to happen]. This is because Vietnamese onlookers can't help but get themselves involved and violence is not uncommon. I didn't drive away immediately and instead waited to see if he got up and was alright. When he got up and walked to his bike, he admitted wrong doing by not yelling at me and avoiding eye contact. Although I was ready to drive away from the situation, I held it together knowing I had to give both myself and him face. So I asked Daphne to get off, look at the damage on our bike and confirm that it wasn't a big deal. We then drove away without a word. Of course, it'd be nice to have seen to him and made sure that he was alright, take him to get a bandaid, etc. But without language, he would've assumed one of two things by our approach. Either we were going to ask him for money for damages, or that our polite tone meant that we were apologetic and claiming fault, to which he would've started demanding damages paid. So, under the circumstances, seeing that he was able to get up and lift his bike off the ground, I had to leave it at that.

One day, we took a trip to the far side of the island. We stopped by a pearl farm, where I played with a guard monkey, and went to small beach that had finer white sand then ours, but sadly was just as dirty. On our way back we got caught in some really bad cold rain and had to drive through it for one hour without raincoats. A hot bowl of Bun Rieu, helped warm our bones when we got back to town, and luckily we didn't get sick.

[He found my keys and tried to eat them]

Halfway through our stay, we went to Rach Gia for two nights to see our friend Sylven get married. Sylven's an American who did the CELTA with us and he was marrying a Vietnamese girl, Lan, in her family's house in Kien Giang in the Mekong Delta. Sylven really wanted to do the wedding local and do it right, but it proved to be harder than he had expected[ok, I don't know what he was expecting, but it was hard]. For the wedding, the dinner came first the night before. No pictures, sorry, we forgot our cameras. In order to get there we had to take a car from Rach Gia, where our hotel was, cross a slow ferry, drive some more, and then take a boat to the house itself[two hours in all]. The boat ride was at night, so while one guy drove Sylven had to shine a flashlight ahead to make sure we didn't run into any debris. I'm not sure how they're able to find their houses like this, but finding Lan's wasn't too hard. All we had to do was find the carnival tent with the loud electric keyboard tunes and screechy karaoke vocals emanating from it. The food was pretty good, large shrimp, crab, innards soup and other tasty things were served. Easy to come by for Lan's parents, who were shrimp and crab farmers. One problem, however, was the massive amounts of little insects that kept flying around and falling into the food. Each bite had to be closely scrutinized for unwanted guests before being invited into our mouths. Sylven made a big error with the mother-in-law that night, he didn't bring her an offering of roast pork. One of the many traditions of a Vietnamese wedding. Bringing it the next day wasn't an option either, it had to be then or never. Ironically, we had passed a lot of stands on the way there that sold roast pork[heo quay], Sylven and Lan just didn't know that he needed to bring it.

The next day, the responsibility for gathering all the necessary offerings had been allocated to some of Lan's cousins. That way Sylven could avoid making anymore mistakes. Lan had to spend the night at the house so that she can stay up all night and wash vegetables with her female family members[really] while we made the long trip back to Rach Gia, only to make it again early the next morning. This time, I had my camera.


Aside from Daphne and myself, the only others able to attend Sylven's side were his friend Thorin and his eight year old son[Thorin's not Sylven's].


The little boat we had to take was hard to balance your way onto, and it had no chairs. After that first night of squatting for thirty minutes in the boat, Sylven decided to buy some short plastic chairs for us this time around.

[Land ho]

[All offerings are in order, will Sylven be forgiven for the pig?]

Sylven is now in Lan's house. Offerings are all set. The tradition here is that the man comes to take the woman away from her home. She will now be a part of his family and no longer her own.

[The Bride waits for her cue]

So, as confusing as it was for us to understand what was going on at the wedding, we came to realize that we weren't the only ones confused. The man pictured above[some kind of uncle?] was leading the proceedings. However, in the living room were seated family members who kept interrupting him. Apparently, there was a lack of consensus for how a 'Vietnamese' wedding should be performed, each family member had his or her own opinion on what came next. And on a personal note, I begrudged the uncle with the mic for constantly standing in front of the bride and groom, making good photo-ops near impossible.


Meanwhile, while Uncle rants, family members burn incense and make offerings to their ancestors, or Buddha, or both[?].

Sylven also has to pay up. Aside from a dowry that includes giving the mother gold, he has to give her gifts during the ceremony, as well as to all her sisters[and any other family member that wants to paid off]. In addition to the wedding ring, he also has to dress Lan with other bits of jewelery: necklace, earings, etc.

The ceremony ends with a bow to the audience and a bow to the ancestors/Buddha shrine. No kiss like in the West. Then, a meal, with much fewer guests in attendance than the night before, and we were off[after waiting for a short storm to subside]. Wedding finished. Instead of wedding presents, its customary, as in Chinese weddings as well, to give red envelopes with money instead. Daphne says, that its customary for Chinese to pay for their own wedding, but then make a profit[for some] off of the envelopes in the end[in the West, the parents pay and you get pillow cases and blenders]. However, for whatever reason, it was Lan's mom who got to keep the red envelopes. Payback for no roast pork, maybe?

Sylven and Lan had to leave for Saigon the same day, while Daphne and I stayed one more night in Rach Gia before going back to Phu Quoc to enjoy our last days of holiday.


It took some time before I could post this blog, I had some computer issues that had to be resolved first. Since then, Daphne is on the way to refilling her yoga schedule, I'm back at work, with less then two months before my contract ends. And after that, we shall see...